Sunday, January 30, 2005
cherries!
4:54 AM
australian oysters
4:54 AM
Australian dog
4:52 AM
MMmmMmmm... Australian food.
4:51 AM
Sis and I...
4:51 AM
i miss my class
4:49 AM
my cross team!!! Meeting up next sunday!
4:32 AM
a diverge from hectic sch life
I was having a good read out of a book titled "Conversations with God" ... Its pretty queer, different but I found it rather interesting when it came to the chapter on Love. So anyway, to usher in Valentine's day... and to complement with the "Romancing Singapore" campaign... as well as today's Sunday Times article with the heading that screamed out " This man has 1000 women waiting to marry him " which came with the wedding picture of an oversized man whose cheeks bulged into his wife's face., I have decided to do the honour of promoting love through this very blog entry!
Quoting:
My girlfriend always says she loves me, but I dont feel the same yet, and I don't know why. How will I know when it will be the right time to say "I love you"? - Paul, 18
Writer: There is never a wrong time to say "I love you", nor is there a wrong person to whom to say it. It is the right time to say "I love you" when your heart speaks the words, not your brain. When you do not have a second thought. Nor even a first. When you are completely outside your thoughts and totally into your feelings. Remember always: Only say "I Love You" to another when you are out of your mind.
Paul: Ha! thats a good one.
Writer: I actually meant it quite literally. If youve still got to think about it, dont talk about it. Yet, love love love everyone. Silently, in the stillness of your heart. Allow the whole world to feel that love. Soon you'll find as you give your love to everyone, that you desire to express your love in particular ways with particular people, based on the way that your feeling. You will experience 3 expressions, which will define your relationships. Eros (romantic love), Phileo (brotherly, family love), and Agape ( Universal love for God and for all mankind). Love can be given in the same amount to everyone, it can be felt just as strongly for a brother as for a spuse, or for all humankind. It is not a matter of amount but of feelings and expressions.
Paul: So what do the worsd I love you mean?
Writer: what some people have decided they mean is very often much different frm what the words actually mean. So I understand why u wld be confused, n wondering when to use them. Much of the human race has decided "I love you" means "I am yours. I belong to you, or I own you." This translates very soon into " I now owe you something, and you oew me something. Its now my job to make you happy, and you must do the same for me. " This is not what it means, but this is what many people want it to mean, need it to mean and insist that it should mean. THat is why so many people want to hear it, and also why it is so difficult for some people to say it --- and for nearly all people to live up to it.
Paul: So if "I love you" does not mean these things, what does it mean?
Writer: "I love you" means "the God in me sees the God in you"
_____________________________________________________
I'd like to think it as " I see the reflection of God in you "
ok... enough said. haha. anyway, I don't think I'd be doing anything on Valentine's Day...
It's too commercialised for my liking. What so special about Valentine's Day if its going to be every couple's day? Everyday should be a Valentine's Day... a day to express "i love you"; not just one day...
My mom told me something amusing some time ago... She said that it would be a brilliant idea to have a marriage system which consists of the annual renewal of marriage vows so that the other spouse will strive to work hard on it. Why do you think that so many Westerners become fat after marriage? (Who cares if they are attractive coz they have already been taken off the shelf... hahaha.) At least, this system ensures that no-one feels cheated after marrying THE (supposed) ONE... n there'll be a great deal of incentive to keep the marriage working... (would it be in the name of love that they shall do that? Or in the name of fear that their spouses wont take them back)
The many joys of having this system:
1. epidemic of obesity slow-down
2. spouse abuse
3. child abuse
4. slavery ...
5. employment? More work for lawyers.... more social workers, more nuns to work at orphanages...
Then again, it's not practical to track down all the couples and ask them year after year if their spouses have been making them happy....
N what would happen to their poor children?
A messy stream of consciousness....
2:55 AM
Friday, January 28, 2005
weekend bluez
I came back from school so darn tired yesterday!And guess what? I slept through "My Lucky Charm" and "American Idol" only waking up from the sofa when the American I. credits ran down the TV screen.
Got out of bed at 9am... one of the latest rise- and- shine- times. The week was crap. I was in a foul mood last night when I realised that one of the naughty malay kids had changed the password of the class blog which I had introduced to them. Thats perhaps his form of vengence for telling the discipline master what he had done in class in school yesterday. He and his company stuck chewed up gum on the class notice board and the girls in the class started to bawl out... They had to redo the board. Yesterday was a day of records man. It was the day when the most number of students (all boys) were sent out of class for not doing their work. I gave them a week to do it. Almost half the class was gone. The discipline master dropped by and sent all of them to do corrective work order. I.E. to move tables and chairs. I better toughen them up and let them know who they are messing with. I've been too kind.
9:08 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
CCCC - Charlene : Cross Country Coach?
I've got news from my Dad. Good news! The school is thinking of opening up a new CCA - X country and he asked if I could coach them. Well, it'd be tough coz the competition is gonna start in a month? Well, miracles may happen...and no one should be deprived of hope... so I'm gonna give it a shot. The P.E. department had better start recruiting the good runners. I'm gonna be busy busy busy like the rest of the permanent teachers who marvel at how early I get to leave school - "the privilege of a relief teacher", they would call it.
If you'd wanna know, I've learnt to ignore a certain category of students who plague me with inconsequential remarks (and mind u, I don't even teach them!) like " 'Cher.(as in short form for teacher...) you Mr yip daughter arh..." or " cher! what's your age arh? 20 and above?" (I'd feel like thanking them at once) but I have no time to react and I don't know how to react so I continue to make my journey toward my class or toward the staff room and guess what their responses are " cher! so arrogant arh" C'on, WHATEVER. I cant be answering EVERYBODY THAT question ... and I need my voice to scream at my sec 2 technical class. It gets on my nerves! What's it gonna change if I told them the answer? The world? And I always remember what the principal had told me in the very beginning. DO NOT make friends with them... they will climb on top of your head ...(and shit)! (and yeah, partial referrence to my height - my short-coming.) Quoting his famous line " Let the Tigeress in you come out" and teach them the most important thing "that size does not matter". Anyway, I don't need to be liked by the students. It's not a popularity contest. My job is to nurture them as much as I possibly can.... not engage them into my private life and background. Which teacher does that sorta thing needs a brain - check. And so I'd be arrogant, bitchy, whatever they can call me.... I seriously don't care. I just wanna scare them into doing my homework because being nice to them would backfire. Tried and tested a hundred times and FAILED. So in order to make them at least pass my subject which is ENglish, literature and CME, (trust me, I'm gonna fail some of them for CME coz they disrupt my class and do not do their work which is part of the syllabus and well, it's been clear to me that I would have to grade them by the attitude they take in doing their projects and assignments for CME. I'm not being mean, I'm just honouring my words... I've already told them anyway. And it works wonders for a minority whose hands would go into spasms, pick up a pen and start scribbling in their books when they hear this ugly threat!)
Well other awfully, terribly, horribly frustrating ones would probably make unanswerable comments like "Cher... wha...same height as me ah (then he starts to use his hand to show how tall we both are)..can get married" I would not even bother to articulate my angst or voice my cynicism against that RUDE comment (and yes, it's being rude, to me) . Guess what goes on in my tender heart.... "GOD SAVE ME! I Don't wanna Die yet!"
BUt its ok... i have a strong mind... strong enough to take it.
As I entered the classroom of the best sec 3 class to sit-in for an absent teacher today, I felt as though I had been a criminal. They started to interrogate me as if I had gone to Heaven n the people up there guarding the gates of Heaven would stand in a row to form a wall and rains of questions about my past, identity and wot not, would pour down relentlessly on me . So I'd hid under the refuge of the words "It's private and confidential" . "Cher, you father is Mr Yip ah?" I'd reply " Can I ask you something before I answer that? What's your surname?" Her friends would go " Tan...." (or "Lee..." or "Sim..."..whatever it was) and I'd spout " So your father is Mr Tan,(or Mr- whatever- surname- she- belongs- to) is it?" Then laughter would follow and the word-play goes on until they get tired of question marks being thrown back to them. Then whispers follow as I creep out of the class silently without them even thanking me or vice versa saying " she's so cute(Oh whatever... and no im not bragging here. Just read on about how I FEEL ABOUT IT" IMagine hearing that from people 4 years younger than you. It's the wierdest thing. What am I suppose to feel? YOUNG?
In the teaching profession, you cant afford to be young. I mean, they'll take advantage of your age, not forgetting the height.... so that explains why I'm always wearing an (ugly) cringe on my face (think sally 03A12 classmates! and I'm not saying shes got an ugly cringe... in fact, she's got a rather natural one,which is Good!) whenever I enter the more notorious classes and try to wear black everyday coz it makes me look as though "somebody has died". (Mdm Tay, if your reading this, I understand why you rarely smiled at us... its time to repent my friends....)
ok, that's enough said.. time to cook dinner. Part-time housemaker, part time teacher, full-time gf. Love and home is wear you'd wanna be when you experience the storms in the Jungle out there. ANd trust me NS MEN, hang in there because I'm with you guys! " Those who wanna talk can do 500 push - ups for me..."
Screaming is worse than doing the push-ups. Take pity on your sergeants.
1:21 AM
Sunday, January 23, 2005
a brand new week
"I don't want to spoil your week for you and I won't let you spoil mine. If your gonna make life difficult for me, I'll make yours a living hell."
That's the first thing I said to my technical class. Other acts of cruelty: threatening to sharve up a ball of paper into their mouths if they cant stop talking to another technical class. To those who know me as "shark" or "char-k", let me tell you that i've never felt like a shark until now. Loan shark, killer shark, whatever shark means. Feel like them all. They have made me into Shark's fin... too. It's Torture. But nonetheless, it's a challenging learning journey even for me.GTG for assembly
6:18 PM
The Writer's blog
A start to no end.
An open closet.
A secret garden.
An arduous journey lies ahead...
Sand....
Sand-tosa.
Running on the beach to no return... only to find INEXORABILITY.
Sinking-in...
quagmire.
forty menacing students up my throat.
I breathe not....armies of carbon die-oxide!!!
Rave, write, rant
In
A writer's blog.
6:35 AM
